Top 10 Ten Coolest Thing Ever

Here is an official list of the Top Ten Coolest things ever, as laid down, by ME, Scurvonomy K. Beard on this, the day of our PirateKing, Apriluary XVIIIth.

1. Big Piles of Gold -- oh so shiney and oh so spendy

2. Giant Flamboyant Hats with feathery plumes and assorted dewdads so that everyone not wearing a giant hat knows that they should feel bad

3. Digital Video Discs -- I'm serious here people. And not the pirated kind either. Pirates do not endorse Pirated DVD's.

4. Shouting -- much better than writing your commands down on a post-it note and handing it off to a minion.

5. Facial hair -- instantly denotes whether or not someone is evil, a great savings in time and effort so you don't have to bother getting to know people.

6. The Letter Q -- I just thinq it's qool.

7. A Hot drink on a cold day -- hot chonklit, spiced pumpkin rum, Scalding Soup, FireSmoothies, ETC

8. A Cold drink on a hot day -- Cold chonklit, nonspice nonpumpkin non rum (water) frozen soup, Melted Iced Creams, ETC

9. Explosions/Dinosaurs -- I couldn't decide which I liked better, so I just lumped them together. I am not advocating exploding dinosaurs, that's just cruel (and not in a good way)

10. Me -- that goes without saying. Actually, I probably should have put me at no. 1. Or at least no. 2. Now people will think I'm humble, and I'm soooooo not. Should I go back and fix it?

Honorable mention -- sunglasses --increase anyones net coolity by 17%, but are not inherrantly cool all by their own selves..

Honorable mention #2 -- Samurais, because they have alot of honor and whatnot. This is not a ninja joke, I don't go in for that sort of thing.

Dishonorable mention -- Mr F. P. Mogglywether, for reasons of a private and personal nature. He knows what he did, and I see no use in embarrassing him further. At least not until he replies to my blackmail demands.

Mention that is neither honorable nor dishonorable -- Happy Birthday Granma!

OneHundrediest Post, plus number word foods

Whoooithy Q. Hoooooo!

We've hit 100 posts. Do you know what that means? Absolutely nothing. It's just a big round number is all, and as such, exiting. Most of the things we celebrate in life are merely big round numbers, if you think about it. Except Leap Year, Feb. 29th. That's really more celebrating a big Odd number.

Numbers are weird. That's why I refuse to have anything to do with them. In school, I failed my maths classes with flying colors (an expression I've been using that's confusing. Hey, that rhymes! My verbiage is extremely tangential today. I don't even know what I'm talking about, which is understandable, as I haven't been listening to a single word I've said. What?)

Even in Pirate College, I wouldn't take any of the navigation or bookkeeping electives, for fear of numbers. Also sextants, those things give me the willies (which is a sentince streun with double entendres, with nary an inuendo in sight. What am I talking about?)

Bookkeeping is the only word I can think of that has 3 sets of double letters next to each other. See? b-O-O-K-K-E-E-P-P-ing. Sppookkeeyy.

Wait, some of the posts have been of YARG! Cartoons, which aren't really a post, more of a reusing of stuff we've allready done to look like we're doing more than we are, only more-so.
So, really, we've only had ... muhmuhmuh, lemme see... 45 ACTUAL posts. That's nothing to celebrate. Sure, it's almost 50, and at least a multiple of 5, but I'm just not feeling it.

Nevermind.
Nevermore
Edgar Allen Poe
Eggner Allen Von Shmoodledike
Eggner has the word EGG in it, even though he's Anti Egg, Pro Cheese
Cheese is made of milk
Milk is made of cows
Hamburgers are made of cows
Hamburgers are made of milk?

Sorry, I'm typing/acting a little loopy. I've had nothing to eat but ice cream for the past few days.

by my previous logic, or prevogic, Icecream is made of hamburgers.

You want 100 posts? Here's 100 posts!

post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post

Edgar Allen Poest.

Do you understand now?
I've written a bunch of words, so I'm gonna go now.