Artisticiscity

Recently, we (not the imperical we, but all of us -- you know, the gang. But not in a gang style way. We're really more of a clump.) Were walking along the boardwalk (An actual one, next to the ocean with shops and rides and foods and such, not the one on monopoly. We wouldn't all fit on that.) and looking at all the various things, when we saw one of those artisty guys, that will draw your picture for a pittance. (I think his name was, Ray Friesen, or Roy Firestone, or something like that. It doesn't really matter.) We all thought it would be fun to see what we looked like in cartoon form, so here's what he produced:







What do you think? (The imperical you, as in 'anyone who happens to be reading this') Try and guess who each one is. (I'll give you a hint: I'm not the first, or the last one, if you read it right to left, left to right, top to bottom, or super-slantwise)

This whole thing made me think: Art's pretty cool. I'm thinking of paying to have a bust or something made of the captains head and giving it to him for chripsmix. The only one of us that's ever been immortalized in art is Lester, who worked for a number of years as a nude model:


















Anydangways, art is a good thing. There should be more of it, or at least less less art.

Heres some more painting's that Lester modeled for.

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OneHundrediest Post, plus number word foods

Whoooithy Q. Hoooooo!

We've hit 100 posts. Do you know what that means? Absolutely nothing. It's just a big round number is all, and as such, exiting. Most of the things we celebrate in life are merely big round numbers, if you think about it. Except Leap Year, Feb. 29th. That's really more celebrating a big Odd number.

Numbers are weird. That's why I refuse to have anything to do with them. In school, I failed my maths classes with flying colors (an expression I've been using that's confusing. Hey, that rhymes! My verbiage is extremely tangential today. I don't even know what I'm talking about, which is understandable, as I haven't been listening to a single word I've said. What?)

Even in Pirate College, I wouldn't take any of the navigation or bookkeeping electives, for fear of numbers. Also sextants, those things give me the willies (which is a sentince streun with double entendres, with nary an inuendo in sight. What am I talking about?)

Bookkeeping is the only word I can think of that has 3 sets of double letters next to each other. See? b-O-O-K-K-E-E-P-P-ing. Sppookkeeyy.

Wait, some of the posts have been of YARG! Cartoons, which aren't really a post, more of a reusing of stuff we've allready done to look like we're doing more than we are, only more-so.
So, really, we've only had ... muhmuhmuh, lemme see... 45 ACTUAL posts. That's nothing to celebrate. Sure, it's almost 50, and at least a multiple of 5, but I'm just not feeling it.

Nevermind.
Nevermore
Edgar Allen Poe
Eggner Allen Von Shmoodledike
Eggner has the word EGG in it, even though he's Anti Egg, Pro Cheese
Cheese is made of milk
Milk is made of cows
Hamburgers are made of cows
Hamburgers are made of milk?

Sorry, I'm typing/acting a little loopy. I've had nothing to eat but ice cream for the past few days.

by my previous logic, or prevogic, Icecream is made of hamburgers.

You want 100 posts? Here's 100 posts!

post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post
post post post post post

Edgar Allen Poest.

Do you understand now?
I've written a bunch of words, so I'm gonna go now.

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YARG #51

and the winner is...

the winner of the title Captain Jack is... Captain Jack! I'd send you some champagne, but I'm underage, have no money, and you live in a different time era than me, and are probably fictional.

Congratulations!

YARG! #50!

A big round number! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

That's 50 zeroes by the way

YARG! #49

the various Captains Jack

the google ads on this site keep advertistin 'Captain Jack Boots' I'm just wondering, which Captain Jack are they reffering to? There's a bunchload of them.

There's the Captain Jack from Pirates of the Carribbean, of course (PotC is my 3.5th favorite pirate related movie, behind those other 2.5 I like)
And Captain Jack from the new doctor who
There's a musician I've never heard of named Captain Jack
as well as a bunch of other people (thank you wikipedia)
including some lesser known, real pirates from back in the day.

There's even our own 'Captain Jacque', a character we've invented, but haven't gotten around to using yet.

Which 'Captain Jack' is the Captain Jackiest? (Not to be confused with Captain Jackie)

I reccomend we hold a poll. Post your vote as a comment to this poll, and we'll see who get's the award.

Jack's are to be judged on the following merits:

1. General Captain Jackitude (Not to be confused with Captain Jackitude, General Jackitude, or General Caplan)
2. Neatery
3. Swimsuit competition
4. Penmanship
5. Spiffery (not to be confused with neatery. It's similiar, but different)
6. Some other mystery quality.

The winner will receive some thing, perhaps, and the losers will suffer the agony of defeat, and probably should also change their names to something else, like say, Michael. (But then we'll have a bunch of Captain Michaels running around, that won't be good. Hmm...)

Get it? Got it? Good.

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various things.

I'd just thought I'd let all you people out there in internet land (remember back in the old days, when people on the radio would address you as "All you people out there in Radio Land? Neither do I. It was in, like, the '30's. How old do you think I am? But I heard about it, and thought it was an interesting concept, and am attempting to use it here. So keep that in mind, even as it has no relevance to the rest of the blog post)

I just thought I'd mention, how it seems the blog is getting drowned out by cartoons, and you can't see any of our wonderful and enlightening actual postages. Yo Ho Joe posted a really good one just 2 or 3 days ago, and you can't even see it anymore. Rember: Always look thru the archives, as there's a buncha great stuff. Sure, most of the greatness is written by me, because I'm obviously the best, but the other pirate guys have their moments too.

I think the cartoons and blog posts are normally intermixed, but as we've mentioned, we've been away for awhile, and are trying to catch up, posting the backlog. Also, I just would like to point out that YoHoJoe portrayed me in an unflattering light, in regards to my neck crickage. I mentioned in twice, and I was in serious pain! Don't belittle my fatal injuries. I'm fine now by the way. It's my superior immune system at work.

This post doesn't seem to have a cohesive thread of talking aboutage, does it? I'd try harder, but...

(... = infer what you will.)

To the Extreme!

Sincerely,
No Eyes Johnson

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Post Tusconage Winddownitude

We're back from our Pirate Convention in Arizona. We got rained on for most of the week, which is not generally what you expect from The Grand Canyon State. Now that we're home, we're all completely tired, (We had to pretend to be interested in talking to all of our customers at the show. That really takes it out of you.)

We're all lying around here at headquarters, totally not looking forward to unloading the Pirate Van. I don't know how we managed to fit everything in. We have a standard size fan, into which we crammed 4 1/2 people, their weeks worth of luggage, tons of copies of our books, and boxies of pirate cookies and souvenirs, as well as all of our booth display. While taking boxes out of the back here at home, we found Lester asleep in one of our dufflebags. Also, coming back, we somehow managed to have MORE stuff, such as the 3 new swords I bought, Scurvybeards Sombrero souvenir, A stuffed and mounted rattlesnake, and a bunch of tshirts and regridgerator magnets we bought because they were mispelled and on sale.

Speaking of Fridges, We saw a really cool fridge on the side of the road in tucson. It was new, only looked old, design wise. It was bright red, and really 50's art-deco coolness. It looked like Flash Gordon's Fridge. We would have stolen it, but as I said, we didn't have the room.

Highlights of the trip include:
The Scary Hotel Room of Doom with Police Cars Around It, Roving Gangs of Weirdo People, Lots of Dirt, A Hand Written Sign for the Lobby, Really Hard Beds, and Trains Going By All Night
The Coldest Jacuzzi of All Time (At Our Much Nicer Hotel Later On.)
A Pretty Neat Used Book Store with Old Back Issues Of Piracy Weekly and Everything.
The Best Chinese Food Shrimp We've Ever Had (and We were nowhere near china, or the sea. I know! Weird Huh?)
The Worst Mexican Food We've Ever Gad (and We were less than an hour drive from Mexico! For Shame.)
No Eyes Johnson Getting a Crick in His Neck and Not Shutting Up About It
Lester Getting Strip Searched by the Border Patrol
Me Trying to Get Some Work Done on My Novel and Not Doing So
Baked Goods
Getting Lost Far Too Often
Us Realizing When We Got Back That We Hadn't Watched TV for a Week Anda Half, and Not Noticing It

You may be wondering how we drove to Arizona, considering our van is not located within the Continental United States, nor the USA at all. My answer to this is: Shh.