YARG # 19

Tarditude

Greetish, one and all and anyone else!

I know we promised we'd be back early in the morning on wednesday, and it is now afternoon of thursday but -- (I can't think of a good way to finish this sentence)

We actually got snowed in, and could not access the interweb. (Our house computer is not what you'd call 'good'. And, just so you don't get any strange ideas about our living arrangements, Me (ScurvyBeard) and YoHo Joe (YoHo Joe) are roommates, sharing an appartment in town. Peg Leg Pete lives with his parents and sister down the street, Lester has his own studio/loft, and I don't know what NoEyes Johnson's deal is. We all generally meet at our pirate headquarters, which is a building we rent on the outskirts of town.

As I said, we got a bucket full of snow tuesday night, and were forced to stay home, watching all the new dvd boxsets we got for fishmas, drinking hot chonklit.

Lester and Pete even made snow pirates.
I'll get a picture up when I can. Anyone else who made snow pirates, I'd love for you to submit them, and if they're good I'll postify them.

Happy Old Year!

Scurv.

Merry Everything!

Yo Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of Egg Nogg
(Instead of rum -- ya get it? I was mixing pirate metaphors with chrispness metaphors. I don't even like egg nogg very much, but -- the hilarity was worth it!)

Pirates and Chrispness go together, hand in hand (er, hook). Twas meant to be. We even saved chrispness once, in 1987. Remind me to tell you about it sometime. Howbout now?
The evil Vikings, being Nordish, don't have christmas, what with their Thor and Odin and Osiris and all. They became so enraged when they received our chrispness cards (We're so awesome, we even send cards to our enemies. And also orphans and puppies and unicorns -- we're just have that much chrispness spirit) that they decided to steal chrispness! The snuck around, and stole everybody's presents or something, and we saved the day somehow. It's a heartwarming story.

Also, did you know, that Pirates invented the chrispness tree? Yep. It was back in Decembuary of the 1500's or such. The German Friggate GSS Tannen-Bound was hauling a rich cargo of pine trees (the rest of Europe was undergoing a severe pine tree shortage. Lousy Druids) and glue, when the ship was attacked by Swiss Pirates, led by the female captain, Christina, 'the Swiss Miss' O'Chaupyerhedov (or ChrisMiss for short)

The pirates attacked, and cut off the heads of a number of the crew's heads. They begain to haul the glue and pine trees up on deck, when a Tiphoon whipped up.
It blew the trees and glue all around in a bug tumbly wad, when the mast was struck by lightning. So, suddenly, cartoonlike, the pine trees were glued to the mast in a big green triangular wad, with lots of peoples heads all over the place, and a fire burning on the very top. It was, by all accounts, beautful. Then the rest of the ship caught fire and sank and the survivors were eaten by sea serpents (so, all in all, not the most hartwarming chrispness story ever. Did you read the one about how we saved christmas, personally? That one's really heartwarming.)

Anyhoo, we'll be taking some time off, see you the day after boxing day (That would be wednesday, the 27th)

Merry Fishmass!
Merry Chrispness!
Merry Xmas!
Merry hanukkah!
Merry Chanukah!
Merry Michaelmas!
Merry Kwanza!
Merry Ramadan!
Merry Festivus!
Merry New Year!
Merry Old Year!
Merry Boxing Day!
Merry St. Elmo's
Fire Drill Day!
Merry Winter Solstice!
Merry Decemberween!
Merry Hogswatch!
Merry Anything I've forgoten!

and above all, Merry Pirate Wednesday.
Hope you receive lots of swag, or presents as the case may be.

BTW, what did you get for me? I gave you something.

YARG! # 18

YARG! # 17

YARG # 16

YARG! #15

Yarg #14

Ghosts in the Internetweb

We are having some blogging related difficulties. Since Blogger is switching to beta (whatever that means. I think it has something to do with the greek. Or college. Maybe a Greek College? Go Spartans!) none of the other PiratesWeBe (YoHo Joe, Peg Leg Pete, No Eyes Johnson, or Lester for those of you who weren't paying attention) can log in.

I seem to be able to, prolly since I'm the owner of the blog and have a google account (again, whatever that means.) When they try to login, it just makes sadness noises. Now how will they impart their wisdom to you? (and they have such interesting minutae to impart!)

I think this is being caused by one or more of the following reasons

1. The internet is haunted
2. Solar radiation
3. Stock in Vikucinno Inc. just split
4. My keyboard is missing the letter Q (I typed Q instead of the actuall letter)
5. Did I allready mention ghosts?

So, there you have it. (Where?)
Further bulletins as events warrant.

YARG 13

Yarg 12

Blog Update Schedule/ Squid Cheese

Our blog here seems to have gotten a bit cartoon heavy/blog lite recently. Partly, this is because we spend alot of time on our daily strip, so it's easier. We're working to find balance. Expect to find the daily cartoon every day, plus a couple (between 2 and 5) original piratey posts per week.

Does this count as one?

I don't think so, it's not very interesting.

Well, let's make it interesting so it'll count.

Okay.

Well?

Well what?

Tell an intersting piratey story.

Okay.... Um. Today I did some various things.

Like what?

Picked up the mail from the post office.

Uh huh. What else?

Made a big salad for lunch.

Really? I didn't peg you for a salad kinda guy.

It wasn't for health reasons. All we had in the fridge were seaweed, squid cheese, cereal and several salad dressings.

You can make cheese from squids?

You gotta know how to milk them. It's not easy, believe you me. I know what I'm talking about, I once owned a squid ranch

You put cereal in your salad?

It hides the taste of the squid cheese.

If you're fridge is so understocked, why did you have salad dressings?

We find it very refreshing and zesty.

You drink salad dressing all by itself?

Doesn't everyone?

Oooooookay.

Who are you anyway, Mr. Boldface talking person?

Gotta go!

So as I was saying, 2 -5 interesting original blogs a week, plus cartoons.
Thank you.

You're welcome.

I wasn't talking to you.

YARG! #11

YARG! #9

Yarg # 8

Yarg! Episode 7

Click to Enlarge, duh.

hotsaucebasco-pumpkin pie: NEJ #3

It's taken me a few days to come up with the story of what I think happened to NoEyes (or Norbert, as his actual name is) Johnson, mainly because of various reasons. Captain ScurvyBeard & PegLeg Pete took an overly fanciful view that put NEJ in some adventureous situations, because that's the kind of people they are. I'm a bit more pragmatic. And reality oriented. And handsome (although that has little to do with what I'm talking about.)

Now of course, as everyone knows, NoEyes is my least favorite piratewebe. I don't hate him or anything, I just like everybody else more. Much more. The things I dislike about NEJ are:

#1, his personality
#2, his appearance
#3, his smell
#4, his taste ('99 Christmas Party mishap. Don't remind me)
#5, his haircut (I chose not to incorporate this under the #2 category because of severeity)
#6, his tastes (not to be confused with #4, I mean to say what sort of things he likes. Like terra cotta planting pots. That's one of his favorites -- I mean cmon! and eggplant! I grant you, eggplant mixed up with other things when they don't tell you what it is can be delicious. Just not by itself raw is not so very much good.)

I think he basically got lost for a month, and forgot everyone's phone numbers. I just do. No adventures. Well, he couldn't remember anything, so he definately got hit on the head. Probably several times. Either that, or he had some hotsaucebasco pumpkin pie. That's his favorite for some reason. He likes it even more than eggplant. Every time he eats it, he can't remember what happened to him for the whole day. I'm not sure if He's faking it to get attention or not, but perhaps he ate nothing put hotsaucebasco pumpkin pie during the whole trip? It was right around ThanksForGiving and the national hotsaucebasco sauce awareness festival...

In conclusion: >shrugs<

Yarg #6

click image to enlarge

The Prophecy of the Curse of the legend of the Mystickal Spoons: NEJ #2

As you know, all of us are kicking in our thoughts on what happened to NoEyes Johnson while he was missing during the last month. OBVIOUSLY, he was charged with an epic quest he had to fulfill.

He was probably bequeethed a magical sword or spoon or sword spoon (have you seen those sword spoons they have!?! Neither have I! They must be soooooo cool!) that he had to return to the briney deep. You see, many years ago (like , at least 12) The great sailing ship Colher do vôo left port, carrying newly minted silver spoons to the colonies, who were undergoing a drastic spoon shortage at the time (a local newspamphlet headline from the time: COLONISTST TO MAIN COUNTRY PLACE: WHERE'S OUR SPOONS!?!)

But, as luck (luck? That's not the word. What's the opposite of luck? Misfortune? Bad Karma? kcul? kcul. That's the new word for the opposite for luck) would have it, the silver was cursed. CURRRRSSSSSSEDDDDDDDD! As in accursed.

For you see, the spoons were made out of silver melted down from the idols of various gods who became angered. Also, some of the silver was robbed from the graves of dead men who had had their tounges cut off (that's powerful cursey!) Also, some belonged to a warlock. It was his moon silver (from the moon) That got accidentally stolen while he was at the barber. (wait -- didn't barber mean doctor back then? So, did doctors cut your hair, or what? Man, those olde timey warlocks had terrible health plans.)

Oh, also, some of the silver was from the royal treasury, where 90 accountants had been crucifed for their math skills,, and was imbued with their spirits. And finally, .15% of the silver was made out of PURE EVIL! (many metals were cut with pure evil to save on costs. You could hardly ever tell.)

So, obviously, the ship was cursed in every way possible. Then, it sunk, (They hit a pointy thing) and the prophecy could never be fulfilled. (There was probably some kinds prophecy. They prophesized all over the place back then.)

Then, some of the silver was unearthed (from the water...), and sold, and melted down made into a most righteous sword. That was pure evil. and cursed. SO -- NoEyes Johnson had to melt the sword down, turn it into spoons. Then, he had to melt the spoons down and make them into the respective idols, moon silver, ingots, coins and dead men tongues. Then redistribute them to the ancestors of those who had been wronged, breaking the curse. Those things take time. After he was done, the rest of the day was his. He probably went ice skating.

That's why.