The Prophecy of the Curse of the legend of the Mystickal Spoons: NEJ #2

As you know, all of us are kicking in our thoughts on what happened to NoEyes Johnson while he was missing during the last month. OBVIOUSLY, he was charged with an epic quest he had to fulfill.

He was probably bequeethed a magical sword or spoon or sword spoon (have you seen those sword spoons they have!?! Neither have I! They must be soooooo cool!) that he had to return to the briney deep. You see, many years ago (like , at least 12) The great sailing ship Colher do vôo left port, carrying newly minted silver spoons to the colonies, who were undergoing a drastic spoon shortage at the time (a local newspamphlet headline from the time: COLONISTST TO MAIN COUNTRY PLACE: WHERE'S OUR SPOONS!?!)

But, as luck (luck? That's not the word. What's the opposite of luck? Misfortune? Bad Karma? kcul? kcul. That's the new word for the opposite for luck) would have it, the silver was cursed. CURRRRSSSSSSEDDDDDDDD! As in accursed.

For you see, the spoons were made out of silver melted down from the idols of various gods who became angered. Also, some of the silver was robbed from the graves of dead men who had had their tounges cut off (that's powerful cursey!) Also, some belonged to a warlock. It was his moon silver (from the moon) That got accidentally stolen while he was at the barber. (wait -- didn't barber mean doctor back then? So, did doctors cut your hair, or what? Man, those olde timey warlocks had terrible health plans.)

Oh, also, some of the silver was from the royal treasury, where 90 accountants had been crucifed for their math skills,, and was imbued with their spirits. And finally, .15% of the silver was made out of PURE EVIL! (many metals were cut with pure evil to save on costs. You could hardly ever tell.)

So, obviously, the ship was cursed in every way possible. Then, it sunk, (They hit a pointy thing) and the prophecy could never be fulfilled. (There was probably some kinds prophecy. They prophesized all over the place back then.)

Then, some of the silver was unearthed (from the water...), and sold, and melted down made into a most righteous sword. That was pure evil. and cursed. SO -- NoEyes Johnson had to melt the sword down, turn it into spoons. Then, he had to melt the spoons down and make them into the respective idols, moon silver, ingots, coins and dead men tongues. Then redistribute them to the ancestors of those who had been wronged, breaking the curse. Those things take time. After he was done, the rest of the day was his. He probably went ice skating.

That's why.