Cupcakes of DOOM!

Hi everyone! All one of you!

Sorry we haven't updated this bloggances in sooooooooo long. pirates get easily distracted. It's just, we had to go out and have a bunch of adventures for our new book!

Look how new it is:


























Go BUYIT! use your buying powers! It's the most piratey graphic novel ray friesen's written EVER besides the other one. It's great! Hilarical! We guarantee it will make your life 93% more pirate, 77% more humorous, and at least 24% better in every way.

Dinner Conundrum

I have recently run out of things to eat. No, there's no famine on or anything, it's just the in the past few months I've eaten many many times at the 3 good restaurants in town, many more times at the 5 bad ones, and even attempted to cook. I have run out of food options, and am bored of repeats. Spaghetti twice in 1 day is MADNESS! MADNESS I SAY!

I do hope you'll forgive this whinging, as problems go it's a tiny one to be sure. Still, I'm a gourmand (posh speak for fattish) and food is one of my favorite vices. Also, what with all my friends and family eating meals in and around each other, we always seem to be having problems synching (pronounced Swinking) our mealtime. We all wake up at different times, and have various cereals, eggs, toasts, sausages, bacons, milks and lobsters for brekkie, oft in the privacy of our own homes. HOWEVER, when luncheon time rolls around, and we wish to do things together, we find the aforesaid conundrum occurs, as none of us are hungry at the same time.

Also, I can't find the good salt! There's 2 kinds of salt, the salty white kind, and the delicious red kind, and somebody's been hiding my red kind. IT MAKES ME ANGRY!

Although my default state is angry, usually I cheer myself up with some nice munchables but NO!

Also, I'm on a diet, which is no fun whatsover.

Yarg.

I'm cranky.

Top 10 Ten Coolest Thing Ever

Here is an official list of the Top Ten Coolest things ever, as laid down, by ME, Scurvonomy K. Beard on this, the day of our PirateKing, Apriluary XVIIIth.

1. Big Piles of Gold -- oh so shiney and oh so spendy

2. Giant Flamboyant Hats with feathery plumes and assorted dewdads so that everyone not wearing a giant hat knows that they should feel bad

3. Digital Video Discs -- I'm serious here people. And not the pirated kind either. Pirates do not endorse Pirated DVD's.

4. Shouting -- much better than writing your commands down on a post-it note and handing it off to a minion.

5. Facial hair -- instantly denotes whether or not someone is evil, a great savings in time and effort so you don't have to bother getting to know people.

6. The Letter Q -- I just thinq it's qool.

7. A Hot drink on a cold day -- hot chonklit, spiced pumpkin rum, Scalding Soup, FireSmoothies, ETC

8. A Cold drink on a hot day -- Cold chonklit, nonspice nonpumpkin non rum (water) frozen soup, Melted Iced Creams, ETC

9. Explosions/Dinosaurs -- I couldn't decide which I liked better, so I just lumped them together. I am not advocating exploding dinosaurs, that's just cruel (and not in a good way)

10. Me -- that goes without saying. Actually, I probably should have put me at no. 1. Or at least no. 2. Now people will think I'm humble, and I'm soooooo not. Should I go back and fix it?

Honorable mention -- sunglasses --increase anyones net coolity by 17%, but are not inherrantly cool all by their own selves..

Honorable mention #2 -- Samurais, because they have alot of honor and whatnot. This is not a ninja joke, I don't go in for that sort of thing.

Dishonorable mention -- Mr F. P. Mogglywether, for reasons of a private and personal nature. He knows what he did, and I see no use in embarrassing him further. At least not until he replies to my blackmail demands.

Mention that is neither honorable nor dishonorable -- Happy Birthday Granma!

We're back! and we're front

It's been almost half of an earth year since we've postified to our bloggulence -- what the smell's wrong with us? I'll tell you what: INSECTS

Peg Leg Pete bought an ant farm, on the same day that Lester the developed an interest in beekeeping, whilst simultaneously, NoEyes Johnson was bequeathed a giant Madagascarian Hissing Cockroach when his uncle Normonicle died. Needless to say, THINGS GOT OUT OF CONTROL and it's taken us this long to recover.

Well!

Now that we've returned, we'll be sure to bring all yalls up to the minute* piratey news, our own personal opinions on a wide variety of topics, the occasionaly ranting and raving, home decor tips, random stories we just now made up, poetry, baking recipes, and whatever jolly else enters into our little pea brained mind skulls.

Speaking of mind skulls, anyone here remember that superhero Skullman? I just saw a mashup video of him on uTube, which took old bits from his 60's tv show, and combined them with some sarcastic pop tune. I used to love skullman! I'd watch him every week with my brother Billium. I had Skullman bedsheets, lunch buckets, and official Skullman Skullduggery Detector, and even a comical book or two. His comics were weird, because instead of the traditional 'rectangular' shape, his were shaped like a... you guessed it, human skull. It made the pages a bit hard to turn.

I was the biggest Skullmonaut on my block, I think because as the only pirate themed superhero, he really spoke to me and my sort of problems. (Well, he wasn't the only pirate themed superhero, I just think Swashbuckle-lad was pretty lame)

The reason I bring it up is THEY'RE MAKING A SKULLMAN MOVIE! THIS IS GOING TO ROCK/THEY"RE GOING TO RUIN IT!

Further bulletins as events warrant.

Happage Halooween

We all dressed up as Pirates. It was totally easy.

Many Happy Returns

Just wanted to wish myself a hippity happity hopalong cassowary birthday. I'm twunnish. Two of your earth decades. I hope there's cake...

Stylishisms

Is my hat too purple? Is my coat too un-pirately-coatish? it really a weird coat if you look at it. I don't know what to do. Fashion advice please? Actual advise only. I think I need a new look, but it needs to look similar, and equally suave and merchandisable. Get back to me.