WHOOO! First Post of 2007!

I did it! It's mine. First post of the new old year (it's allready this year, so I count it as old). Some small minded people may say 'Ooh! NoEyes! There's been a few cartoons posted in this year allready, sir.' To them I say 'Shutup! I have the first post post with acutal words and new content.

Seeing as how this is a new year, I would first like to fix all of the troublems left over from last year. First, the whole 'NEJ is missing, here's what we think happened' thing. Remember that? For a while, I was MIA (That's Missing in Anaheim) and the other Pirate bloggers speculated as to what happened to me. They were all wrong (Except Lester, who didn't say anything. Very wise) Here's what really happened: NONE OF YER BUSINESS! I'm sworn to secrecy, and also just plain don't like you. (That's the imperical You, as in humanity in general. You specifically, (The Person Who's Reading This) is prolly not such a bad guy (Or woman of anthropomorphic animal, as the case may be) and you are reading MY blog after all, so you can't be all bad.)

Also, a problem last year was all the bats stuck in the eaves of my appartment. Well, me and my roommate/brother No Ears Johnson have since cleared that up, with the help of a crate of illegal fireworks, and the world's longest poking stick (We actually ended up bribing the bats to leave by giving them the fireworks and stick)

Now, on to new business;

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

These are resolutions I write for 0ther people, as I'm obviously perfect (People laugh everytime I say this, and point on my physical imperfections, such as fatitude (It's Glandular/Genetic/Snack Related. Shut up) and my obvious ocular imbalance (NO EYES JOHNSON, DUH) which is for fashion reasons. I have a little thing called style. Look it up sometime.

Peg Leg Pete's resolution:
Think up a better comeback for all the people who point out you have no peg leg. Just ask me, I'm a master of snappy comebacks (In 1977 I invested $2 in the Al Jaffee booklit of snappery. Changed my life)

Yo Ho Joseph's resolution:
Stop finding the miniscule flaws in my brilliant plans. It's getting annoying. Also, learn how to snap your fingers properly.

Lester's Resolution:
Stop being such a moron. I mean this in the nicest possible way

Captain ScurvyBeard:
Give your First Mate a raise. Also, promote me to First Mate. Also, let me drive the PirateMobile sometime. Also, think of a better name for the PirateMobile. Also, did I mention giving me a raise?

So there.

Until Next time...
Um...
No Eyes AWAY!