ThanksForGiving

America is the only country in the world (as far as I know, I haven't actually checked) that celebrates Thanksgiving. Here in Pellmellia (The country we live in Doofus) We have a similar tradition called thanksforgiving, where in addition to eating a large bird (Ostrich actually), watching the Contrabanned Warehouse Thanksforgiving Day Parade (They only have half a float) and giving thanks for the good things in the year, you can also list all of your complaints, and get to punch one person free of guilt or being arrested. I thought it might be nice for each of us Pirates We Be to do so.

ScurvyBeard
Thanks: I'm thankful for Robert Louis Stevenson, John Cleese (best shouter I've ever met), Aluminum, the fact that Giant Hats have come back into fashion, and Gunpowder.

Complaints: The fact that RLS only wrote 1 1/2 piratey books, John Cleese won't answer any of my letters, Tin, The fact that I'm the only one who knows that Giant Hats are fashionable, and the 3 day waiting period.

Punch: Mr. F.P. Normanson of 34 Creginal Road, Wainscotting. He knows why.

YoHoJoseph
Thanks: The upcoming Piratelympics (should be incredibly fun, and will bring alot of tourist revenue) The works of Errol Flynn, That tshirt company that bought my idea (soon, I'll have a bunch of free tshirts!) and that swordfightey videogame I hope I'll get for christmas.

Complaints: The fact that I have to organize the entire Piratelympics (should be alot of work) the fact that they haven't done an Errol Flynn DVD boxset (at least a Region P box set. Darn DVD regions. I keep forgetting most of the movies I buy won't work on my DVD player) and the fact that I don't have my swordfightey videogame allready.

Punch: Mr. F.G. Normanson of 37 Creginal Road, Wainscotting. He knows why.


Peg Leg Pete
Thanks: The Pirates of the Carribbean movie franchise for making Pirates popular again, and inspiring me to live up to my pirate ancestry, The color bluish, salt, easily swipable spoons.

Complaints: The fact that I have to explain the reason why I have no Peg Leg yet am called Peg Leg Pete to everyone I introduce myself to, my little sister, The fact that they changed the law and I'll have to wait even longer to get my boating license, Onions

Punch: My little sister. I do this anyway. Then she gets me back when I'm not paying attention.

No Eyes Johnson
Thanks: None.
Complaints: Everything
Punch: Everyone
(as NE Johnson is stil AWOL, I filled in his to the best of my ability. --SB)

Lester

Thanks: Those new Rizt Bizt Crackers with the little cheesey bits on the inside, being awarded 'Most Parrotley' at the Contrabanned Warehouse ThanksForGiving Day half parade, the color blue, Televison, TV, watching things, Bugs, Crayons, Eiderdown, Hot Chocolate, My Computer is purple, The CF sculpture series and Polymer Clay Sculpting, the Book Yarg that was written about us used my good side, Leprochauns, The Great Pumpkin (he chose my punkin patch this year!) Cartoons, Comics, webcomics (the good ones) Leprochuans, Hamsters, The Spanish, Spoons, The Number 7, Los Angeles Freeway Department, Helicopters, Candy, Chocolate, Sugar, Skittles, My Red Cellphone, capital letters, Sandwiches, Paper, The Letter Q, Vegemite, Mayonaisse, Sound, Taste, Touch, Smell, Smellovision, Taste, Hair, Feathers, Feet, Oxygen, Tungstin, Vegemite, Albert Einstine, Calculators, Alligators, Dinosaurs, Dinosaur Toys, Regular Toys, Audio Books, DVD box sets, Hamsters, The Internet, Waffles, 1973, 1974, 1976, 1773, Doctor Whom, Avatar -- the Last Hairbender, Rocky and Bullwinkie, Sinefeld, Ponty Mython, Jeeves & Wooster, Fry & Wooster, House & Wooster, Monkk, Scrubbs, His Name is Earl, The Office (British and Americish), The Colber Report, Dr. Mungo Goes to Mungotown, The JungleBook, Pixar, Netflix, Bioflavinoids, Sunflower Seeds, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Ate, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Jasper Fforde, Christopher Moore, Herge, Uderzo, Salad Dressing, Cheese, Johnny Depp, Peter Postelthwaite, Hugh Laurie, Tony Shaloub, That One Guy, David Tennant, Carl Johnson, Alan Rickman, Kiera Knightly, James Bond, Santa Claus, EasterHamster, The French, The Welsh, The Dutch, The Irish, Spoons, Cartoonists, Ray Friesen, Matt Groening, Scott Adams, Darby Connley, Walt Kelly, Walt Disney, Disney Land, Roald Dahl, Jay Ward, Sergio Aragonés, Walter Clamhard, Jeremy Guuk, Batton Lash, Bongo Comics, Don't Eat Any Bugs Productions, Aardman, Pete Michels, Aloha Joe, Woogils, Woogils Plus, Australia, Illegal Cheese, and Spoons

Complaints: Those new kinda Rizt Crackers get stuck in my craw, My Archnemesis Jacque Parrowte, None of my Armani Suits fit anymore, The letter K, Q, C and 4, The French, The Welsh, The Spangladorians, Bad Movie Sequels, Bad Movies, Molting.

Punch: William Randolf Hearst, Communism