hotsaucebasco-pumpkin pie: NEJ #3

It's taken me a few days to come up with the story of what I think happened to NoEyes (or Norbert, as his actual name is) Johnson, mainly because of various reasons. Captain ScurvyBeard & PegLeg Pete took an overly fanciful view that put NEJ in some adventureous situations, because that's the kind of people they are. I'm a bit more pragmatic. And reality oriented. And handsome (although that has little to do with what I'm talking about.)

Now of course, as everyone knows, NoEyes is my least favorite piratewebe. I don't hate him or anything, I just like everybody else more. Much more. The things I dislike about NEJ are:

#1, his personality
#2, his appearance
#3, his smell
#4, his taste ('99 Christmas Party mishap. Don't remind me)
#5, his haircut (I chose not to incorporate this under the #2 category because of severeity)
#6, his tastes (not to be confused with #4, I mean to say what sort of things he likes. Like terra cotta planting pots. That's one of his favorites -- I mean cmon! and eggplant! I grant you, eggplant mixed up with other things when they don't tell you what it is can be delicious. Just not by itself raw is not so very much good.)

I think he basically got lost for a month, and forgot everyone's phone numbers. I just do. No adventures. Well, he couldn't remember anything, so he definately got hit on the head. Probably several times. Either that, or he had some hotsaucebasco pumpkin pie. That's his favorite for some reason. He likes it even more than eggplant. Every time he eats it, he can't remember what happened to him for the whole day. I'm not sure if He's faking it to get attention or not, but perhaps he ate nothing put hotsaucebasco pumpkin pie during the whole trip? It was right around ThanksForGiving and the national hotsaucebasco sauce awareness festival...

In conclusion: >shrugs<